I have a complicated relationship with mice. We didn't have them as a child. As someone who's never slept much, I used to kill crickets under the refrigerator in the middle of the night. I definitely would have noticed mice.
In the labs
When I was working in labs, I worked in monoclonal antibodies. This required that I take care of animals in the lab. The experiments used BALB/c mice, rabbits, guinea pigs, gerbals, and other rodents.
I hated the work.
More than anything, I hated the way mice were treated. I saw my colleagues use mice like paper towels. I was shocked at their lack of compassion for a fellow mammal.
"They are lesser creatures" – I heard this from nearly everyone. This is a tenet of the Catholicism, as my eldest sister's abusive husband explained to me. MAN (his emphasis) was on top of all with every other animal and being on this planet below HIM. He also told me that he operated on dogs without anesthesia because dogs were "lesser creatures."
"We have to prioritize human health over the lives of these creatures." – I was working in viral research. People were dying of AIDS and we were attempting to figure out what might help. Human health was more important to most people than the miserable lives of rodents. Right? Wrong? I didn't like it, that's for sure.
"Who cares?" – This is the thought of every overworked post-doc and lab tech. We were exhausted from too much work for so little pay. (I worked as a cocktail waitress at night to pay those student loans.)
In my experience, you cannot teach someone to care about something like mice. People either care or they don't. Maybe they'll have a break through and start to care, but it's unlikely.
Our first home
Our first home in Denver was built in the 1940s by the Air Force for base housing. It was 950 sq feet with one bathroom and one bedroom. It was in terrible condition when we bought it in a horrible neighborhood.
Our first mouse came from my in-laws. My mother-in-law wanted to make damned sure that I knew that I wasn't welcome in her home. For our wedding, they brought us the couch we slept on at their house on the weekend of our wedding. (Yes, they are that petty.) We were in the mountains so they put the couch with its mouse inhabitants into the house.
At the first sign of a mouse, we went to the hardware store. We put out glue and snap traps. We baited them with cheese like we were trying to catch Jerry the cartoon mouse.
While we were messing around with traps, the mice broke into my bodybuilding supplements, specifically my MetRX protein shake powder.
That MetRX stuff really works because those mice suddenly had bionic strength. If they were caught in a trap, one of their super-powered mice friends would get them out.
We finally hired an exterminator.
When we moved out, it was evident that the mice had gone into hiding rather than being eliminated.
This old house
We moved our belongings and no mice to our new-to-us house. This house was built in 1907. Both the husband and I had always wanted an old house, "like they had in Beetlejuice."
We paid the top of the market for this house, which is something we were teased and mocked about for years. But, it's close to the park. has big trees, and has a large lot for us to grow all kinds of things.
The house is only 1125 sq feet. Two bedrooms, one and a half bath. Two small floors stacked on top of each other with a basement.
I love this house and feel very, very lucky to have it.
And, the work on this house began the moment we moved in. Along with getting rid of the old lead plumbing and knob and tube electricity, we had to fight the mice.
It has truly been a fight.
Everything ground to a halt when I had my first back surgery in 2016. I threw up every single day for four and a half months. I was so sick that I barely left the bedroom. The husband spent most of his time trying to care for me.
The mice flourished. For Christmas, the husband set up the tree and all the trimmings. Clinging to him, I made it down the stairs. He settled me on the couch. For the next half hour, the dogs chased the mouse around.
There. Were. So. Many. Mice.
We set out live traps and trapped 29 live mice. The husband would drive them to Boulder, where he worked, and let them out. One time, he drove up there with 5 mice in the back.
But mice handled, right?
No.
While we have fewer mice, we still have them.
Why am I hung up on mice?
- They are ridiculously cute.
- I hate killing scentient beings. I know that Suzuki Roshi said, "We must do what we need to do to live." That may be true. I feel bad.
After the MetRX fiasco, I know that we cannot live with them in the house.
What have we tried?
- Hired exterminators.
- Put out bait traps.
- Put out live traps.
- We demoed our kitchen and bathroom to see if we could eliminate how they get into the house.
- We've searched out protected areas they may have lived for more than 100 years, and added bait.
- We've used Irish Spring, snake poop, and every kind of trap on sale.
Before you suggest getting a cat, the husband is anaphylaxis to cats. Some of our gardening heroes have little terriers that they used for mousing in their old homes. We haven't done that yet.
Are we drawing mice to us energetically?
"Energetically" mice implies that you are over-focusing on the details and not the big picture.
This is not the reason we have mice.
Nor is the fact that our house isn't antiseptic clean.
We have mice because this house has likely had mice since it was built.
What has actually worked?
- The humane traps only work if you have enough mice to be able to see the path of where they are going. Since our initial success, we haven't been able to catch a mouse with them.
- Bait traps. Yes, I know about the birds and cats and all of that. Bait traps are the only thing that seems to make a dent.
- Irish Spring bar soap. Roll your eyes if you must, this stuff works. The mice avoid it over peppermint oil or even snake poop. The first day will clear out your sinuses as well as the mice. I grate it in the food processor and put it into little sachets made from cheap nylons. We've sprinkled it around but it's so noxious that I was up at 2 am sweeping it up.
Mice take up so much of my time and mental space. I feel guilty for killing them. I feel sad when they die.
And I feel rage that I'm placed in the situation where I need to deal with mice. Again.
Complicated. Expensive. Mice.
Have you ever had to deal with mice in your home?
