08 February 2008 ~ View Comments

Today's birthday: February 8

Once a year,? I walk up through the ice and cold in the wee hours of the morning.? Reaching my destination, the newspaper boxes two blocks from my house, I purchase a Denver Post and a Rocky Mountain News.? I trot home as fast as the icy sidewalks will allow me.

Ripping the Denver Post paper apart, I find the page I am looking for:

Jacqueline Bigar

If today’s your birthday:
You’ll find your hands full this year,? as a particular associate
or partner could be very demanding.? Agreements and joint
finances don’t flow with the ease you might like.
Pisces helps you spend your money.

Hmmm.

The carnage begins anew.? Newspaper papers fly to the floor and I search through the Rocky Mountain news.

Where is it!? It’s got to be here!? Fuck….? I find Dear Abby.? Then there it is:

Bernice Bede Osol

February 8

You will be coming into your own in the year ahead,
and your imprint is likely to be felt in more areas
than ever before.? Utilize your time and talents in ways
that can advance your dreams.?

Hmpt.

I sigh.

I’m either gong to be broke and pissed off by some pain in the rear….

or…

I’m going to be followed by the paparazzi…

What do YOU think is my horoscope for this year?

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  • Wonderful Kelly - Ahahahaha

    Chuck - Ah for fuck's sake!

    Annie - Thanks! :)

    Heart in SF - Oh that's an awesome horoscope! I'll print it out and say it's the real thing - especially the trip to SF. Won't that be fun!

    Moobs - Oh gosh - imagine that! What adventures I will have. We'll make a series and call it... um... Claudia Who?
  • Happy Birthday. I predict that rhythmic movement at the gym will cause your belly button piercing to open up a rift in the spacetime continuum.
  • heart in san francisco
    Your books will all be published, even the as-yet unwritten ones, to great acclaim both critical and popular, your personal cup will runneth over with every kind of joy imaginable, you will help countless people find the way to their own happiness, and best of all, you will visit San Francisco.

    Happy birthday, girlfriend!
  • Happy Birthday!!!!
    Annie
  • My cup is always 1/2 full....you are so gonna get followed.

    now, come by when you can and critique me.

    love to ya girl and happy happy happy b-day! p.s. (i can't believe you said the "f" word. i'm shocked. just plain shocked. *giggling*)
  • hahaha

    I'm a pisces. Gimme yo monah!
  • Claudia - A world of possibilities! Yay!

    RileyBerry - I needed a native Coloradoan to interpret the Rockie. And man oh man, I love your interpretation! From your mouth to God's ears!

    Grace - Hurray!

    The CEO - Um.... my hero is a bit like a female James Bond. Although she works for American MI, not MI-6.... hmmm......

    Janet - Oh yea! Let's hope that definitely happens! :)
  • You will continue to attract the attention of fabu people on your blog ;-)

    Happy Birthday!!!
  • The CEO
    Happy Birthday. Your 28th?
  • You will write the ultimate blog/political/financial/international intrigue best seller, turn it into a series of books, and each will become a movie. The female Jamie Bond will be born.
  • Happy Birthday Claudia! Hope you have many many more to come!
  • rileyberry
    Isn't D a pisces?

    I think your Rocky Mtn. News horoscope is perfect! It means that the right publisher will find you, take your novels, contract with you to keep writing them, and you'll end up on the NYT Bestseller List! You're a Best Selling Author, remember??
  • Happy Birthday!! Make your horoscope your own...a wonderful world of possibilities.
  • Furious Ball - Did you say "cat fur"? ;) YAY! Now that's a horoscope!
  • I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you.

    Aaron Wakling
  • You will invent the fur sink and make millions off of stupid rich people.
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