Answering questions (Part 1)
As a way of easing into my birthday, I invited people to ask me questions about myself.? I received a few emails and a lot of comment questions.? The offer stands until my birthday next Friday.? If you want to know something or are curious about anything about me or my life – fire away.? I’ll answer all questions in the month of February. Remember – if it’s a question about a specific person?? Please email.
I wanted to start with Janet‘s question because I think it explains a bit about me that will make later answers make sense.
Janet asked: “What is your best friend like and why is she or he your best friend?”
One of the truths about me is that I am an intensely private person.? I know a lot of people.? I have a lot of friends.? In fact, I have so many friends that many people find it hard to believe what is also true about me: I am fairly shy.
I am a shy socialite.
So while a lot of people know me or know about me, there are few people who know me well.
(You’ll notice that most of the long questions are asked by people who actually know me.? They know that the offer to ask me questions is rare and limited one.)
That said.
My best friend is someone who has known me for over thirty years.? We met in high school orchestra and have remained friends ever since.? He is smart, funny, loyal, and interested in the same issues that I am interested in.
One of the hallmarks of our relationship is its consistency even over periods of disconnect or separation.? We’ve gone years with only a Christmas card or Birthday card as way of connecting.? Then there are years, such as the last two or three years, where we talk every week.? The feelings of closeness don’t diminish over time and space.
He is responsible for some significant transitions in my life.
- He went to UC Berkeley and encouraged me to transfer there from a small college where I was the sore thumb.
- He helped me get a good paying job at Berkeley.
- He brow beat, made jokes, manipulated, and finally insisted that I should not, would not, could not go to medical school.
- He didn’t like my boyfriend so rather than get in the way, he just disappeared, thus making his disdain apparent.? This was one of the pushes I needed to get out of that relationship.
- He teased me about not having email at our birthdays in 1996.? We got online within a month.
Mostly he’s known me for a long, long time.? He knows my family and calls them “the vortex of insanity.”? He has met almost all the players in my early life and I’ve spent time with his primary family.? Our birthdays are one year and one day apart.? (He’s older if you are keeping track.)
All of that said, we are very different people.? We have different relationship styles which rub against each other.? He struggles to understand things that are important to me.? And frankly, he likes Apple computer products (form over function).? He doesn’t like my writing – he thinks it’s too commercial, not intellectual enough.
Still, we are best friends.
And of course, my other best friend in D.? He’s also smart, funny, honest and loyal.? But I’ve gushed about him before.
Keep the questions coming.? This offer ends next Friday.
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