On a limb with Claudia

I am back to the writing board. Having completed a fairly decent first book in a series, I am working on a re-write of the second book.

At this moment in my life, words and phrases are of the utmost importance. This week, I’d like to share my new favorite phrases and words.

Have a cuppa. If you create a sentence out of one of these words, you will automatically be entered in a prize drawing for something cool (that I haven’t determined).

Thursday Thirteen #15

1. Clark Kent Job: This is probably my favorite new phrase. Everyone has a Clark Kent job – a job that pays the bills while they pursue their destiny outside of work.

2. Electile dysfuction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party during an election year.

3. Choreplay and cuddalingus: Choreplay is how absolutely hot and sexy it is for a woman to see a man doing doing regular household chores. Cuddalingus is when two people lie intertwined with each other. Combined? Choreplay leads to cuddalingus and more. Of course, there are such things as cuddle parties, but that’s another story….

4. Refrigerator blindness: Selective loss of visual acuity in association with common foraging of the refrigerator. Predominantly seen in children and males. Often indicated by the phrase: “There’s nothing to eat in this house.”

5. California car pool: When each member of a group drives himself to the same destination. Typically, the group is together at the start or close enough to share rides. The best example of a California Car Pool is when a group of work friends decide to have lunch together then each drive alone to and from lunch.

6. DILLIGAF: Do I Look Like I Give A F**k??

7. Christmas Adam: Christmas Adam is the day before Christmas Eve (i.e., December 23rd). According to the Bible, Adam came before Eve thus Christmas Adam is the day before Christmas Eve.

8. Compunicate: When you are in the same room with someone, each on separate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person.

(Demonstrated best in this video – Dead Like Me: Millie gets a new job.)

9. Hobosexual: The opposite of metrosexual; one who cares little for one’s own appearance.

10. Pornfolio: The mass of porn that one has stored on their computer, generally in a separate folder.

(I couldn’t find a suitable picture… Imagine that!)

11. Phone Grope: Grabbing at pockets, patting yourself down to make sure you have your cellphone and don’t need to turn around and go back home for it.

That’s what’s going on here. Right? Right?

12. Cinematard: One who is completely lacking movie knowledge. (This would be me!)

13. Docomrade: An Internet acquaintance; someone you chat with but have never actually met. (That’s you and me!

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In a little more than a week, I will celebrate another trip around the globe sun.? (Thanks FuriousBall for the correction!)? In order to share the love, I make this one time offer.

I will answer your questions here next week. Feel free to ask anything you’d like. But remember the rules of questions: Only ask questions you want to know the answers to.

Leave questions as comments or shoot me an email at opengrove@gmail.com.

Not curious? That’s cool. We’ll still party.

UPDATE:?? I have solemnly sworn not to speak about certain people on this blog.? Even telling you who would break my promise. ? So if you have a people question, it’s best to email.

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So, I’m thinking about changing my God.

(Oh come on, what were you thinking about this afternoon?)

I think I’m going to change my God from Yahwey to Haashch????ti??.? Now before you just click away, let me explain.

Yahwey gave the tribe of Israel the most valuable piece of property in the Middle East.? Long after the OPEC nations runs out of oil, Israel will reside on the only access to the Mediterranean in the Middle East. (Pricey property, right?)? In return for this gift, the tribe of Israel has spent the last 3,000 years (King David united Israel in 1005 BC) fighting over this land.

The Navajo God, Haashch????ti??, gave the Dinetah the Navajo Nation.? No one in their right mind wanted that property.? So while most Native American tribes were shuffled off some remote uninhabitable location, the United States Government couldn’t find a more uninhabitable place for the Navajo.? So the US Government told the Navajo to go home.

Yahweh’s gift?

Haashch????ti??’s gift?

That’s not to mention Uranium, Coal, the only road from Utah to Arizona and all the money that can be swindled earned in a casino.

Now before you send me nasty email, Israel is also a beautiful country.

Sorry, wrong picture…? (I’m trying to be funny here….)

Back to my late afternoon point:

• 3000 years of war or Uranium, Coal, road, casino?

• Yahway or Haashch????ti??

Which would you choose?

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Ok, I always talk about the importance of laughing at yourself. Right? Right?

The current President of Middle Child Central created this video. I present to you a funny Bill Gates. (Oh you’ll laugh out loud. Really.)

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Well… I supposed it had to happen. Every computer, every drive, every hard drive, every program…. did the doe-se-doe this weekend at our house…..

So I’m a little behind.

I apologize for being so spuratic…. I’ll get caught up….

In the meantime, where is my…

I’m listening to:

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In my wanderings around the web last week, I found that people seemed really sad. Some had recently lost loved ones. Other bloggers were bogged down under the day to day rejection of their dreams. Still others seemed just to have the mid-winter blahs. A lot of people are in transition, stressed out, anxious, frustrated and dealing with angry, frustrate, stressed out people.
And on Monday we say another “howdy” to Mercury in Retrograde.

(Let’s all say a collective, “crap”.)

I found this in Yoga Journal and thought it might help.

Graphic by Zoran O?etski

“For Los Angeles cardiologist Alejandro Junger, love is a great healer. Along with performing EKGs and prescribing exercise and diet plans, Junger teaches a simple visualization technique to his patients that focuses on love, which he believes can help mend a weak heart – and more.

“Start by closing your eyes. Take some deep breaths and picture in great detail someone you love – seeing them smile, hearing them laugh. Then imagine telling the object of your affection how mush you love them.

“‘After about a minute of the visualization, patients tell me they experience feelings of love, peace and joy,’ says Junger. ‘This reminds them that these feelings already exist within themselves and can be triggered by their own minds.’

“Junger believes that depression, anxiety, and even heart disease can arive from having a ‘closed’ heart, or not fully experiencing your emotions. When you bring love into your consciousness, you release that emotional constriction and open your heart center, resulting in improved mood and an overall sense of well-being. The body responds to the sensation of love by secreting endorphins, which counteract stress and lower blood pressure. Junger adds that people report feelings of warmth and ease filling their chests while they do the exercise. ‘It’s a tool you can use outside the office for a more holistic approach to health,’ he says.

“Junger sees the importance of this technique on a broader scale. ‘Our society is in crisis. Is there any doubt that one of the major epidemics today is that people’s hearts are closed?’ he asks. ‘Anything that helps to open people’s hearts will help no only their blood pressure, but all of the life on earth.’” (Sharon Brock, February 2008, Yoga Journal)

I hope this little meditation helps brighten your corner of the world.

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